How boring was the red carpet tonight, you guys?! What a letdown! A sea of blah gold and red dresses, with nary a hint of imagination. Of course, I did have a few faves (though picking more than two was a tough task), but let’s start with a few baffling choices first.

First (and certainly worst) is Dakota Johnson in Gucci. That godawful dress! What is that dress??? It reminds me of Sandra Bullock’s character’s wedding gown in The Proposal. I can appreciate Dakota’s attempt to wear something unexpected, but the colour, the fabric, and the styling are all wrong for her. Pair this wrinkly mess of a dress with limp hair and blah makeup, and you have a major wasted opportunity. Dakota is a vibrant young actress, and her Golden Girls-inspired look tonight is super baffling, unless she lost a bet, or someone at Gucci has a juicy piece of blackmail on her. Otherwise…I really don’t get it.

Next up is Felicity Jones in Dior, whom I also really like…but her dress belongs on a little girl at a ballet recital, not on the Oscar red carpet.

I actually really liked Alicia Vikander’s ruffled lace dress, but that hair! That hair belongs in the shower, tied up so that you don’t get it wet…not on the red carpet. There’s effortless hair, and then there’s this hair…

Michelle Williams usually brings her A-game to any event she attends, so admittedly I hold her to a higher standard. So when I saw her in this simple (read: boring) gown, I felt disappointed. It’s obviously not hideous, but it’s also not Michelle Williams-worthy. 

Unlike Michelle Williams, I don’t usually hold Halle Berry to a higher standard of red carpet dressing, but I really, really didn’t like her Atelier Versace gown tonight. There’s something so messy about that black mesh on the bodice, and the one-shoulder thing feels very dated. Of course, Halle Berry has superior genes, and she still looks more beautiful than most people, but as far as gowns go, hers was definitely not my favourite.

Photo Credits: VOGUE